Charlie: THE MOVIE

Movie: Charlie's First Year

(Hey, there's music! Are your speakers on?)

As we begin a new year, we're looking back at the last year with thankfulness. It's been a fun, precious, trying, sleepy, ecstatic, funny, humbling and fumbling year. And it's weird, because the last year seems to have flown by incredibly fast, but it also feels like our pre-Charlie life was a thousand years ago. We're now a little more ragged around the edges, and our house will never look the same...but we've never been happier.

Looking back, the first year was different than I expected. I envisioned the first several months being incredibly hard, and that I'd probably feel incompetent or lost. Instead, the year truly felt joyous and overall, a huge feeling of gratitude left little room for much else. While Jim and I snapped at each other a bit more than usual, we also had a new appreciation for teamwork and each other as parents. I learned that you just kind of figure it all out as you go along.

Not to imply that we were totally sunny and sane...anxieties crept in. Charlie was well into his third month before he was further than a few feet from my side. The parenting cliche about checking baby's breathing? Check. To this day, I still trek upstairs several times a night to shine a flashlight on the warm little lump in the crib and anxiously watch the folds of his pajamas for signs of life. Is that normal?

I had no idea the level of obsession...what if he's not eating enough? If he cries, will he feel abandoned? Are his feet cold? Could he be autistic? What if he never crawls? Will he be allergic to eggs forever? Are we stimulating him enough? What are those red bumps on his face? Maybe he shouldn't be sucking on that plastic toy? Is he behind? Can we afford college? Do we talk to him enough? But thankfully, life intervenes, and there is no time for fear. Dinner needs to be made, the laundry folded, and oops - Charlie is climbing the stairs again!

I thought having a baby meant you rarely left the house. Instead, Jim and I laugh about how we've never been so active. We discovered that Charlie sleeps just as well on an ancient vinyl mat as he does a new organic mattress. We've been shocked at the sheer power of explosive newborn poop, and have a few marks on our wall to prove it. We now know that just because a baby hates banana the first 15 times he tries it, doesn't mean he won't love it on the 16th.

We've enjoyed Charlie's sweet disposition and his incredibly expressive face. His belly laughs, mad cries, shy smiles and utter determination...multiple chins, big eyes, bed head and innate baby wisdom. It's been one heck of a year.

Thanks to all of you for sharing it with us, many blessings for the coming year.